The Male Virgin

*Please note that opinions expressed in this post solely reflect the views of the contributing author and do not represent views held by Losbeauty & Co.


Such a quaint word. So very…..fundamentalist, very….traditional, very….virgin.

Chances are when you hear it you experience a throwback, to Sunday school or to even your parents. Chances are when you hear it the first image that pops into your head is an innocent Amish looking girl, probably demurely dressed, likely very pretty but very abashed and shy and without a single piece of jewelry; in some cases when you hear it you get the image of Mary the mother of Jesus. Yes THAT Mary.

But I’m willing to bet some good money that no male anything popped into your head, not in the form of an imagination, not a recognizable popular figure, not even a preconceived image built over from years of cultural and/or religious indoctrination, nada. Why?-Because the male virgin doesn’t exist.

No really, male virgins do not exist. They are a myth. Every guy born was born with already pre-programmed penile knowledge of the female vagina.

Oh you think I’m lying? Gather your friends around, sit them down, pass the drinks or the blunt to loosen the lips and get into some smack talk about girls and the sack and EVERYONE of them boys will have something to contribute, including those whose closest experience with sex has been through porn and/or self service. Because we were all born non-virgins.

Okay I’m being sarcastic, there are male virgins out there but you’d have a better chance finding a green-white-green winged Yoruba (a native language to Nigeria) speaking unicorn than of finding a guy who’d admit to being a virgin. Note I said admit to being a virgin.

the male virgin

Here I am wondering why the lopsided standards? Why is virginity among girls still held in esteem (I need to add though that these days it’s not much of a big deal again, but if you meet a virgin girl she has a few more gold stars on her shoulder – in Africa anyway) but a guy who claims to be a virgin is ridiculed by his own friends? I have in fact heard that a lot of ladies avoid male virgins because if he’s still a virgin at so and so age he must have something wrong with him.

So let me get this straight; a guy sleeps around, he’s a dog; he remains a virgin for whatever reason, then there’s something wrong with him. I’m confused.

I’ve also been privileged to hear women tell listeners “when I met my husband I was a virgin!” with pride. And believe me I think that’s fantastic, but nobody ever, asks the said husband if he himself was a virgin when he took hers. It’s assumed isn’t it?

Every guy can talk the talk, well almost every guy; but not all of us can walk the walk because when the moment comes and you start fumbling around then the girl KNOWS you’re a virgin.

I grew up old school, I’ve always been proud of that, and growing up old school meant I grew up holding the virginity “principle” (so to speak) in high esteem. And I still do. But I’ve also adjusted to the fact that much of my generation don’t hold the same beliefs I do, (and honestly if virginity was at the top of your list for a wife, brother you’re going to wait a looong time).

And I’m cool with that. What I’m not cool with is boys having to lie every time sex is discussed, even amongst their own friends because being a virgin is tantamount to being the sexual equivalent of The Hunchback of Notre Dame.

I feel there isn’t a consistency in the social sexual grading system. I’m not saying guys who are virgins should go around telling everybody who cares to hear that they are, that would just be ridiculous. I’m just saying you shouldn’t feel pressured to lie about it; whatever your reasons are.

And for the girls who have a problem kicking it with virgin guys y’all need to get a grip. Not all cards on a deck are the same; you could miss out on the joker because he ain’t like the others.

Ariel Ugorji
Ariel is an active Christian, fantasy lover, music junkie, nerd, and an introspective talkative. Opinions expressed are mine, but I’m very interested in discussing yours, so hit me up on social media. Looking forward to hearing from you!

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